So, right now I am suffering from a severe canker sore(s). I bit my lip, and it was all downhill from there. Please pray that I don't harm my mouth out of painful frustration. I would post a picture, but that might be too graphic for blogspot and I don't even know if my blog would get published.

I love Aerosmith with all of my heart. In fact, I kinda love them the same way that God loves them. I know that they are pretty much the poster children for sex, drugs, and rock and roll, but I love them anyway. There's really nothing they could do to seperate them from the love of Jesus Christ or Justin Giglio. In fact, I am in the middle of collecting every album they have released. I believe it is around 27 in all. Anywho, its safe to say that I've been on a bit of an Aerosmith binge. Consequently, I've been doing some research and poking around their website(s) checking out stuff. I ran across an article on Steven Tyler the other day that made me think. The title of the article is: "Aerosmith's Steve Tyler has Quit Drugs, but not Sex or Rock ‘N’ Roll". In the article, Tyler is quoted saying, "Here's to hell. May we have as much fun there as we did getting there." I work with a guy that has the same outlook. It's almost as if these guys take pride (well, they do) in their lostness. They kinda have this "too late to turn back now, and I wouldn't even if it wasn't" kind of mentality. For some reason, I feel like that is a cheap-shot to my masculinity. It's almost like they're saying "we're man enough to handle hell, and you're taking the easy way out". That bothers me.

My feelings were SO summed up in a passage from 1 Kings. King David is dying. He is on his death bed and he calls for his son Solomon. He wants to talk to his son one last time, and he gave him this charge:

"I am about to go the way of all the earth. So be strong,

show yourself a man,

and observe what the Lord your God requires:

Walk in His ways, and keep his decrees and commands,

His laws and requirements, as written in the law of Moses,

so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go."

1 Kings 2:2-3

I love that David equated being a man with obeying God. It takes a real man to die to himself and take up his cross. It takes a real man to love deeply. This passage makes Steven Tyler seem very foolish. Any man can make love while he's drunk and high to a woman he has never met. But a it takes a real man to commit himself to one woman and for her to stand alone in his heart and in his thoughts. So, here's to heaven, and not only the fun we had- but the strength it took to get there.

I still love Aerosmith though...

21When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. 22Then one of the synagogue rulers, named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet 23and pleaded earnestly with him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live." 24So Jesus went with him.
A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
31"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "
32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."



That was from the book of Mark 5:21-34. This story, and the way Mark tells it, is so intriguing to me. It begins with a synagogue ruler named Jairus falling at Jesus' feet and begging Him to come and heal his dying daughter. Obviously, this took a lot of faith on Jairus' part, and since Jesus was into that, He decided to heal this man's daughter. But it's what happens on the way to Jairus' house that astounds me most...

He was on his way to an esteemed man's house, and the crowds that he was trudging through pressed against Him. Dozens were just bumping into the Son of God. People touched the hands that would save the world. The One who was there at the creation of the universe, was here saying "Excuse me, pardon me" to the people whom He created. Enter this woman. She has been dealing with this bleeding for 12 years. I would get upset if I had to deal with a hangnail for 12 years, much less an "issue of blood" (which I'm still confused about what that means). She had heard of Jesus, and since she had tried everything else (and had exhausted all of her money on it), she found herself in a place of desperation with nothing to lose. Her faith told her that if she could just touch Jesus' clothes, she would be completely healed. So this woman fought her way through the crowd and got to Jesus' feet, where she touched his robe- notice that I'm assuming that it's a robe-like piece of clothing. That is not scriptural. Immediately, she was healed. Moreover, Jesus felt the power leave His body. He stopped in the middle of a crowd of people bumping into Him to ask "Who touched me?"

This story scares me a little. I'm scared that I might be in the crowds of people brushing by Jesus, while one touches Jesus in power. It's interesting that you can press against God but never have a touch that changes you. Now, I live in a generally Christian society, insofar as most of my friends are Christians and my family are Christians, and most compellingly, I am a leader within my church. It makes me wonder how many people come to church week after week, and are so pressed against the presence of God that it is almost literally skin against skin, but remain unaware of what God longs to do in their lives. They remain. Unchanged.

It brings up this idea of proximity and intimacy. There is a vast difference between the two.

I have an amazing church. A church where the unmistakeable presence of God shows up week after week. Yet some, and sometimes I, sit there in disconnect from what others are experiencing. We are close, but we are not close. We are near the presence of God in terms of proximity, but very far from it in terms of intimacy. I think the ultimate biblical example of this would be Judas, a man that could kiss Christ's face with a kiss of betrayal.

I've grown up Christian. In church, I can talk the talk. I can sit in disconnect for an hour and a half, pray for someone else (when I haven't prayed myself in weeks), and then go talk to the pastor like I'm brother Bible man. I know how. I can do it. What makes this worse, is that I can do all of these things while being pressed up against God. 2 Timothy talks about godless people that have "a form of godliness but denying it's power". Honestly, that describes me sometimes.

It just takes pressing through the crowds and reaching up to Jesus in desperation.

Wow, it has been a VERY long time since I have "blogged". Maybe I'm kidding myself thinking that anyone reads this anyways. So, if you read this, next time you see me, give me an elbow in the side and whisper in my ear "creamed corn". That way I'll know you're a faithful reader!!

So, the summer has come and gone. It was rough. I learned SO much about love though. On July 13, 2006, one of my very best friends passed away. He was also my grandfather, or as I would call him, Paw Paw. Right now, I feel bad for you (the person reading this) for not having met him. He was, as Mark Beason said, "the life of everyday life". I was working at the Y that day, when I went to go on my lunch break. I noticed I had 7 missed calls from my Dad. As I was looking at my phone, he called again. He answered in tears, telling me to pray for Paw Paw. I told him I was on my way. As I sprinted to my car, tears began to stream down my face. Less than 12 hours earlier I had gone through the quintessential relational flop. That's neither here nor there, only to say that my heart was already somewhat heavy. I drove at a ridiculous speed towards New Orleans with tears flowing as I asked God where He was through clenched teeth. Around LaPlace I recieved a call from my Dad saying that Paw Paw had passed away. I got to the hospital, and my family was there in tears. Maw Maw came up to me, gave me a huge embrace, and told me that they were waiting on me to go see him. To see him, lifeless, shook me to the core. I cryed for hours. Hours. I don't know if you (reader) have ever cryed for hours, but it's just not a good place to be. To see my Dad cry the way he did, didn't help. It was the worst day of my entire life.

Fastforward to the night before the funeral. I was sleeping until about 3. When I woke up, and absolutely could not go to sleep. If ever God has spoken to me, it was this night. He wanted me to speak at the funeral. So I did. I think it went pretty well. It was horrificly hard to get through, but I did it.

I miss him so much. Every now and then, for a split second, I think I see him. It's a great split-second.

I guess I typed this one up as an update from how my summer went. It was real rough. I made alot of friends though! And at times, I found out how many true friends I had. And the true ones far outweighed the....false....ones. I am truly blessed. God showed up. Who I am now typing this is a result of going through everything I went through this summer, and He deserves all praise. His thoughts are so higher than mine! None is like our God!

So, I was thinking about doing a second blogpost about 20 minutes ago, but I decided that I didn't feel like it. Then, I saw a recurring facebook phenomena that I just had to blog on. What is the deal with people asking for roommates in the most obscure of facebook groups? I literally just looked at the group, "I Love Popeye's Biscuits With All My Soul" and there was a girl that was like "I need a roommate ASAP!" Are you serious????? What could her logic possibly have been? "Oh man! A group of people that love Popeye's biscuits with all their soul!?! That's perfect!! I need a roommate from that bunch! YEAH!" People are stupid.

So, the blog that I was thinking about doing had to do with being a "man of God". That phrase gets thrown around alot in our "non-denominational" society and it seems to be what every male aspires to if they have not reached "man of God" status already. It's funny though, because people will deem you a "man of God". I have been called a "man of God" on several occasions when I don't feel like a "man of God" at all. I have soooooooo far to go before people should be allowed to throw that phrase around connected to my name. But recently, I have been somewhat convicted in the first 1/3 of that statement. I mean, of course, God comes first in everything, but I feel like there is alot of importance in being a "man". At least the way God defines a man. Thats really where I feel my heart is. I mean, the only reason I went to DC with GPA last year was because I wrote 250 words on how the "men" of my generation suck and don't know how to be men. Alot of what I thought about saying here is my personal conviction (but I feel like it's more of a Godly mandate) about how to be a man. You know, the way I feel a husband, father, friend, brother should live in their God given responsibility. And I think if I (to take a phrase from my first blog) make that known to the virtual universe via blogspot, it would cheapen the conviction in my heart to become that husband, father, friend. I just think that God is calling men of character and men of prayer. And by men of prayer, I don't mean "guys that pray for an hour and a half every morning every day until they die". I mean men that connect to living God through their prayer and men that OBEY God's voice when He speaks. The best evidence that I am a man of prayer is that I DO WHAT GOD SAYS WHEN I HEAR IT. The extreme privelage we have in prayer is not to "pray". It's that, through our prayer we can connect to God and live a lofe of obedience to His voice.

Anywho. I think God is raising up a generation of MEN. And on the way, I think He is redefining the word. Our culture has defined man by social status and oily muscles. And quite frankly, that paradigm of what men are became what women want. So if an athletic, oily, ripped guy is what the women want, thats what the guys want to be. So, I HOPE, that if God is in fact raising up this group of revolutionary men, He is also raising up a group of women that desire that sort of man.

So everybody can have Godly babies!!! :) Or at least Godly families. Thats the kind of church I think God would like to manufacture.

So, I guess this is my first official blog. I mean, I've done a couple of those "kiddie" blogs they have on myspace, but now this is blogspot. The Super Bowl XXVII of blogs. I've finally hit the big time. I would like to take this opportunity to send mad props in yo dy-rection if you helped me reach this plateau of coolness.

But seriously, I've been having alot of random thoughts lately that made myself think, "Wow. That would be a cool thing to make known to the virtual universe via blogspot." So, I bit the bullet and created one of these things. I hope my friends might read this and we can have cool conversations or something. So now, I guess (que drumroll) the official blogging begins:

Something happened to me about a week ago that started a chain reaction in my thought process that I really didn't know what to do with. I was at a redlight turning from Corporate onto College and there was a homeless guy (who wasn't that old looking) walking up in the direction of my car. I make a habit of checking my car for change I can give them when these guys come by, and I think its a healthy way for me to see the best in people. By that I mean: when my parents pass up a guy like this they usually don't give anything using the "he'll probably go buy alcohol or something lewd like that" alibi. I don't think that way. Anywho, all that is not part of the story. So I searched the area around me in my car and came up with about $1.79 to give this guy. I rolled my window down and as I handed it to him, I said, "Here you go, man. God bless." Even while I was saying that, he said something to me. "I am losing faith in my human man." (Then as I hand him the money) "I think it is coming back to me now." This is where my thoughts took off. As soon as I drove off, I started thinking about the verse somewhere in that thing you're supposed to read when you're a Christian that says something about angels being in our midst. My true, honest to God, first impression was that this guy was an angel. I don't know why. But then, I began to replay what he said. "Human man?" Isn't that kind of redundant or something? My head began to tell my soul that he couldn't have been an angel because he couldn't communicate English in correct terms. And for a second, I believed it! I really discounted the possibility that this guy was an angel just because he was lacking in his English communications skills! I don't think I couldn't have bought in more to Intellectualism if I tried my hardest. Then, I guess the God part of my thought life kicked in. I was like, "I can't believe I just thought that! Even if God didn't have a track record of using unqualified people, for me to even think for a second that I know what or who God would or wouldn't use and why is the stupidest thought I could ever allow myself to think! God's thoughts are infinitely higher than mine. God's ways are just the same. Who am I to rule out that guy?" It was a really confusing thought process to me and the only concrete thing that I know was established was how "above me" God is. So here's my conclusion: being that this series of thoughts ended in a Godly conclusion, I can assume it was God-ordained. Being that this series of thoughts was God-ordained, and within that series of thoughts I thought "Who am I to say that guy isn't an angel," I have to assume that.... one night, about a week ago, at a redlight at the corner of Corporate and College, I gave $1.79 to an Angel.

All of this seems really silly now that I've read over it. Oh well...